Early Reflections on the Journey

Here are some posts I created on sparkpeople.com when I first began this journey to health. I will be sharing these for the next few days, just so everyone knows how it was at the beginning. I'm at a completely different place now than I was then.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

An Active Weekend...

For the last couple of years, I've gotten into the habit of using weekends as a time to be lazy (maybe to make up for the busy week). Even being lazy, I stressed out about schoolwork--but, being an English/Creative Writing major usually meant I could veg out on the couch or bed with a book for homework. Now that I'm serious about getting healthy and fit, and don't have homework to worry about anymore, I'm afraid that I will find other bad habits: watching tv all day, etc. But I could be using this time to do stuff, like I did today! I ran some errands this morning, walked 2.8 miles around a lake at a local park, and did some abs strengthening exercises. I feel great--and, don't feel like I'm wasting my precious weekend.
My hope for the day: To not lose the intentions I have right now of committing to this new lifestyle.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

One Day at a Time.

I feel like I went from being addicted to eating food to being addicted to this website. I spend so much time on this site everyday. It feels good to eat less. I love keeping track of everything I eat. So far, I haven't had any cravings. Unhealthy food doesn't even appeal to me. I haven't craved chocolate, sweets, or Mexican food yet. When Michal eats chocolate at night, I pass or only have one piece. I've limited myself to two beers the last couple of nights (and only want to drink on weekends). When Michal goes for another beer, I honestly don't want one when he asks. I barely made it through my second one last night.
I'm so afraid that all of these good intentions I'm feeling right now will go away. I don't want to crash and burn.
I want to be healthy. I want to lose weight. I want to fit into my clothes again. I want to feel comfortable in my body, with my body. I want to be more active. I want to feel empowered.

Monday, October 16, 2006

A Reflection on My First Tough Day

Today was my first tough day. I got a little stressed out at work and it really affected my mood. I only took fifteen minutes for lunch, and it was late in the day--so, I ate too quickly. It made me feel too full too fast (luckily I take my own lunches, so at least it was something good for me).
When I got home from work, I didn't have the enthusiasm and optimism I've felt since starting this program/diet/lifestyle. I wanted cheesey Mexican food, chocolate of every kind (picturing Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka's chocolate river), and to drink my gloominess away...all while lounging on my couch watching stupid TV. Yup, I was going to jump off the deep end into a vat of cheese, chocolate, and alcohol.
But, I thought about it some more. I remembered that I have to take it one day at a time. I need to remake the choice to live a healthy lifestyle. Then, I realized I will have to struggle with making that choice over and over...day after day...sometimes, several times a day. I wrestled with myself until I found the teeniest bit of strength buried deep inside, and I pulled it out.
I used that strength to put an Abs workout tape in the VCR. I worked off every ounce of frustration, despair, and gloominess. By the end of the workout, I felt great. It helped lift my spirits and reminded me of how much I want to be healthy.
So, no cheesey craziness, chocolatey gooeyness, mind-numbing alcohol, or body-weakening couch.

I'm a stronger person for it.