Almost Finished Reflecting, Ready To Look Ahead

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Time to Re-Commit!

My Major Motivation Points

Personal Appearance: I want to:
Look younger
Firm up what I have
Look better naked!
Wear a swim suit on the beach
Keep my thighs from rubbing

Health & Fitness: I want to:
Climb stairs without being winded
Live longer
Feel and be stronger
Have more energy
Run or walk a 5k, marathon, triathlon or other race

Friends, Family and Social Life: I want to:
Play and be active with my kids
Do more active things with my spouse/significant other
Stick around to see my grandkids grow up
Get in shape before I have a baby

Everyday Signs and Situations: I want to:
Be more confident in myself, with better self esteem
Walk into a room without feeling like people are staring
Have people ask if I have lost weight
Overcome shyness
Relax around other people and be myself
Prove to myself that I can do it.

My very first SP blog:
“For the last couple of years, I've gotten into the habit of using weekends as a time to be lazy (maybe to make up for the busy week). Even being lazy, I stressed out about schoolwork--but, being an English/Creative Writing major usually meant I could veg out on the couch or bed with a book for homework. Now that I'm serious about getting healthy and fit, and don't have homework to worry about anymore, I'm afraid that I will find other bad habits: watching TV all day, etc. But I could be using this time to do stuff, like I did today! I ran some errands this morning, walked 2.8 miles around a lake at a local park, and did some abs strengthening exercises. I feel great--and, don't feel like I'm wasting my precious weekend.
My hope for the day: To not lose the intentions I have right now of committing to this new lifestyle.”

Wow…I was so afraid when I wrote that post that I would give up this whole “healthy lifestyle” thing. But, now it is April (I wrote that in October), and I’m still doing it! I might not be as “hardcore” as I was at first, but I’ve really incorporated good habits into my lifestyle. What an accomplishment! While I do use the weekends to veg out a bit, I also accomplish a lot (my apartment gets a thorough cleaning, the week’s grocery shopping is always done, and Sunday is laundry day). I’m definitely not as stressed out anymore about everything like I used to be. I am not afraid to go out somewhere because I think people will think I look fat. I won’t decide not to do something because I don’t have anything comfortable to wear. I’m so glad I didn’t let myself down.

Something positive and true about me:
I never give up. Even if something seems difficult, even if I don’t want to do it, once I put my mind to something, I find a way, eventually to do it. For example, I can now run a 15 minute mile and not feel like I’m dying when I do it.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

List of Accomplishments (in no particular order) since joining SP

1. I've lost over thirty pounds.
2. I comfortably fit into a size 12 pants.
3. I can now jog a mile in 15 minutes.
4. I eat a healthy breakfast every single morning.
5. Since adding "flossing" to my daily goals to be checked off, it has become a habit to floss every night—no matter how tired I am.
6. I no longer feel uncomfortable in my body when I hang out with friends or go to family functions.
7. I don't mind being naked, with the lights on, in front of my husband.
8. I don't feel self-conscious when he looks at me when I'm naked, or if I see myself in the mirror.
9. I think before I eat. Even if I have seconds when I don’t need it, or eat a cookie—I am aware of it and have managed to make more healthy choices then unhealthy choices.
10. I only drink two cups of coffee a day. I used to drink a lot more. Now it is water, water, water.
11. I have become an “occasional drinker”—no more night glass or two of wine or a couple of beers. This was a long time coming!
12. I can run. If the crosswalk sign changes, I run for it and don’t feel self-conscious.
13. When I just “want” something, like a cup of hot chocolate, I stop and think about it first. Why do I want it? Am I trying to compensate for something? Am I bored and want to sip or munch on something? If I go for a walk, eat an apple, drink some water, will I still want it?
14. I think in about the long term. It is no longer about instant gratification. Do I want that soy chai latte? Is it worth the calories? Can I afford those calories today, or should I save them for something later? Do I really want to do extra cardio later to make up for it?
15. I no longer think of “if” I lose weight and become healthy, it is “when” I lose weight and am healthy.
16. Most importantly, the fear is gone. I’m not afraid that I can’t do it. I can do it, I am doing it. Sometimes it is tough, but look at how much I’ve done already!
17. My kitchen is always stocked with fresh fruit and veggies. My husband and I look forward to what the “fruit of the week” will be when we go grocery shopping.
18. My husband has followed my example and eats breakfast every day, makes a point not to buy things with trans fats, and enjoys talking about healthy alternatives…oh, and if we order a pizza—a rare occurrence—we go for the smaller size instead of the large size.
19. The fact that I can make this list is an accomplishment.
20. I talk openly about my weight and no longer hide it.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Slacking...

I feel like I've been slacking off a lot lately when it comes to losing weight, living healthy...etc...

I mean, I make more healthy choices than unhealthy ones, but I'm not as "into it" as I used to be. It is like I need a jumpstart. I just feel so pulled...in many directions. It is difficult to go workout when dinner needs to be made, or the bathroom cleaned, or an article written, or make tomorrow's lunches, or relax on the couch for just ten minutes, or iron those shirts...the list rambles on.

I know I'm much better and healthier than I was a year ago, or even eight months ago. But there is still room for improvement. I need to figure out how to stop letting everything pull me, and start doing the pulling!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Avoidance

Why haven't I written a blog for a little while?
--Oh...because I'm avoiding self-honesty. Self-confrontation. Myself. I'm avoiding myself!...because I hold myself accountable for the choices I make.

Have I been making healthy decisions lately?
--Sometimes. But not as often as I should be. On a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the healthiest...I give myself a 6. Now, a 6 isn't THAT bad, but it sure isn't great or awesome or outstanding. And, I deserve a 10. I want that gold star!

So, what do I do to get a 10?
--Make more healthier decisions. Stop putting off "until tomorrow or later or this afternoon" to make the healthier choice. That piece of chocolate or second helping I'm not really hungry for isn't the better, healthier choice. I will only feel worse if I choose it. So, make choices that make you feel good. Getting that exercise in today, not tomorrow, will make me feel better both today and tomorrow! Live for today, not tomorrow. Right?

Oh...I need more pep talks with myself. More importantly, I need to listen to myself!

Monday, June 04, 2007

Values equals Choices equals Consequences

Wow...time is flying, is it really June? I'm less than ten pounds away from being at a "healthy weight" bmi-wise. That is pretty cool. Best of all is that I'm feeling good about myself. I want to lose more weight and know I can make more healthy decisions, but I am a step closer to my goals every day. Michal and I were talking about how heavy we had gotten after we first got together--we are both so happy that those days are gone. We both look and feel so much better!
While it is still a struggle to enough cardio in--I have to force myself sometimes--or to avoid an extra piece of chocolate, at least it is a struggle. Before joining SP, I would have avoided cardio and consumed chocolate without even weighing the consequences. Values equals choices equals consequences.
I value my choice to live a healthy lifestyle with the consequence of feeling better, physically and emotionally.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

What? It's June?

Yeah...still can't believe it is June. June of 2007! Jeez Louise.

So, I've started wearing my pedometer more this week. More = twice so far this week, when I had been using it maybe once a month. I want to start using it more often because it helps me move around more at this "sit at your desk" job...especially when it is difficult for me to fit other cardio into my schedule.

And, boy, has it been hard to fit that cardio in lately! Michal has been home a lot lately, so we've been spending more time together. Plus, I've actually been keeping my house clean...amazing.

The exercise is important though. I have a calendar on my refrigerator with a dinner menu on it for the entire month. Each week, when Michal gets his work schedule, I'm also going to write down on the calendar what kind of exercise to do on each day. Hopefully that will help.

I'm also going to start doing yoga again! I've felt so stressed out lately and my body is out of whack, so I think that will help. Just thinking about it relaxes me!